Words Matter

Words matter, but so does who you say them to.

You’ve heard it before, “words matter”, and they most certainly do.

Scripture is overflowing with examples of how important our speech is, what we should say, how we should say it, and who we should say it to. For example:

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Colossians 4:6

“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” Matthew 15:11

However, I’m starting to believe that while words do indeed matter, what matters more perhaps, is who you say them to.

Let me start by saying, I’m a talker. I am always first to fill the silence and that is not always a good thing, after all, the bible says “Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” James 1:19. I’m still working on this, I’m so quick to talk.

On the flip side, our words can also be a good thing. “Gracious words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24.

If you know me personally, you’ve probably heard me say that we all need those friends you can “vent” to. You know the one who will listen with open ears and an open heart and let you say all the things that you don’t mean but “need to say” with no judgement. The friends who actually are “quick to hear”. When I thought about who those people were in my life, it was my husband and my cousin. Then I was convicted in my heart. Why didn’t Jesus make that list? Why did I not see him as the friend who was quick to listen, even though he is literally the perfect example of that. And really, don't we need judgement? We need conviction to change our hearts, but we need it from God who judges with truth, and love and righteousness.

I felt very convicted of this so I started a challenge for myself. I didn’t tell anyone, I just did it. Believe it or not, you actually can try new things, or fast from something, or quit something, and not put it on social media. I know, crazy right?

Anyway, my challenge to myself, was this: anytime I had something I wanted to share with someone, weather it was the fact that I was frustrated with other person, or I had exciting news at work, or maybe I heard a funny joke and wanted to keep laughing about it with others, I would tell Jesus first. Instead of calling my husband or my cousin, who are usually the first people I call with any sort of news, I would pray first and talk to Jesus just like I was talking to a friend. Afterall, “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my father I have made known to you” John 15:15.

Jesus wants to hear from us.

 “Cast all your ON HIM because he cares for us” 1 Peter 5:7.

“Rejoice always, PRAY CONTINUALLY, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERYTHING by PRAYER and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” Philippians 4:6-7.

Here's something else about having that person you can "vent" to. That person you can share your thoughts and emotions with, without the fear of judgement. People will always judge ya'll. However, we NEED to be judged. We need to be held accountable. We need to be convicted of our bad choices, or wrong emotions. But we need to be judged by God, so why not take those feelings and emotions to Him? The ultimate judge who judges with truth, and love, and righteousness.

Do you want to know what happened as a result of my “Tell Jesus First” challenge? Two things. One: I truly started to see Jesus as my friend. It brought me closer to Him because I was talking to him ALL THE TIME.

Two: I didn’t share near as many bad thoughts or intentions or reactions with others. When I started with Jesus, and took my cares, anxieties, frustrations and anger to Him, I more often than not was calmed by being his presence. Sometimes, I was convicted and my eyes and heart were open to my wring emotions. Sometimes, I felt right in my emotions and was better able to handle them because I had Jesus’ spirit in me and I let him take control. So, while I still may have shared anger or frustration with someone else, it was shared in a calm voice and with control.

Just like God wants us to come to Him, am I someone my kids want to tell things to? I sure want to be. I’m learning that one of the ways I can work towards being someone they want to talk to is by being someone who is “quick to listen”.

Here is my prayer for you and I momma.

 “Set a guard, o Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” Psalm 141:3

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

Yes, find those friends you can lean on and trust in this life on this world, but never forget your true friend who loves you so much that he died for you.

“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” John 15:13.