It’s something I’ve heard people say, and before I had kids, I never really understood it. Then I felt it. I felt the internal pain of disappointment and frustration and even guilt when I had to discipline my own child.
Discipline is hard on the giver and the receiver. Just like it makes me sad to see my kids disobey knowing that they know better, we grieve God when we disobey Him. “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” (Ephesians 4:30). Ouch. Disobedience pains God and us, and discipline is hard. However, discipline of disobedience is necessary.
Discipline is a promise. “Let no one deceive you with empty words. For because of these things, the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience.” (Ephesians 5:6). Our children must know that there are consequences for their actions, particularly their sinful actions.
Discipline shows love. Scripture tells us, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” (Proverbs 13:24). It’s hard to believe that discipline shows love but it does just that. Because I love them, I want what is best for them. What is best for them? To grow up into righteous followers of Jesus. In order for them to do that they must be taught the way, and corrected when they wander.
Discipline will correct foolishness, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.” (Proverbs 22:15). Discipline teaches right from wrong, making it easier for them to say no to foolishness.
Discipline will promote wisdom. “A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.” (Proverbs 29:15). Discipline teaches wisdom, making it easier for our children to say yes to righteousness.
Discipline is impactful and long lasting. “Train up a child in the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). When we have consequences, we learn from them. We remember how we felt when we were disciplined for disobedience, making it easier for us not to make the same mistake multiple times.
Discipline now leads to goodness, righteousness, and holiness later. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11). In the moment, discipline sucks. It can make you regretful and embarrassed and flat out bad. But we learn from those experiences and emotions and they make us better. We make better choices. We lead different lives. We live and love differently than we did before. “God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.” (Hebrews 12:10b).
Discipline leads to repentance. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9). When we are disciplined for our sinful actions, we are introduced to the concept of conviction. Remember this though, shame is not from the Lord, conviction is from the Lord. Conviction tells us that we did not act, or react, or behave in a way that was pleasing to the Lord and we want to repent of that. Conviction tells us that we did something wrong. Shame tells us that something is wrong with us. Shame keeps you trapped in bondage and Jesus Christ died so you did not have to be trapped in bondage anymore. Conviction is a good thing! Conviction lets you know what you need to change to be more like Jesus.
Discipline must be consistent. We agree now that discipline is good. So, “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9). We know that discipline is from the Lord. “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58). We know that discipline is biblical and all throughout scripture. And, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16).
I’ll leave you with this Bible Verse:
“Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.” (Job 5:17-18).
Something to think about: Next time you are in the moment of disciplining your child, think about your role as a child of God and how he disciplines you out of love.
Prayer: Father, thank you for your good and just discipline in our lives. Thank you for correcting us out of love so that we can grow up to be more like Jesus. Guide me as I discipline my children. Help me to discipline out of love with mercy and grace just as you do for me. May they grow into righteous and holy believers.
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