Ryan and I recently ran a local running race and I had some thoughts post-race…
There were moments of physical pain. There were moments of excitement and grit and perseverance. There were moments of doubt in my ability and in my previous self for signing up for this race. There were moments of joy in the struggle. There were moments of encouragement to and from those I was running with. There was disappointment in pace and contentment in progress. I was running to the finish line. I was running to get somewhere. My music wasn’t working so I had an hour and 30 some odd minutes to listen to the Holy Spirit and boy did he have a lot to say. Running does that for me when I let it. When I put aside the air pods and just listen to my god speak to me through nature and weather and all be it pain. This race felt like our spiritual journey. I thought a lot about Paul and running the race in such a way to get the prize. “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it” (1 Corinthians 9:24 ESV).
This life is going to be filled with many different emotions. From joyous highs to defeating lows. But they are all in light of the end. We press on towards the finish line, in such a way to win the prize. I was disappointed in my performance because I didn’t leave it all out there on that course. I held back, because of discomfort, because of doubt, because of you name it. I don’t want to feel that way when I meet Jesus face to face. I want to hear him say “yep, you gave me your all out there, you pushed through discomfort and doubt and left all you had out on that course.”
Now you may be thinking, “I am not a runner” or, “Yeah running really isn’t my thing”. That’s ok! I get it. It’s not for everyone. So, let’s put it this way. How many times have you felt defeated as a mother? Woah, I know. How many times have we felt pain or discomfort while trying to navigate this role as a tiny disciple raiser? For me, it’s way more times than I want to admit on the internet for everyone and their influencer cousin to see. But we press on every single day. We don’t give up. We don’t say, “ok kids, mom’s done”. Nope. We keep on being a momma because that is what we do. That is who we are. We give our kids everything.
We keep on being a disciple and follower of Jesus because that is what we do. THAT, is who we are. We find our identity in Jesus. We give Him everything. And, when that glorious day comes for us to see Jesus face to face, He will say, “Well done my good and faithful servant”.
Some days are going to be easier than others. Some days you’re going to want to jump for joy.
Some days you’re going to want to sit on the sidelines because you just need a break. See the picture below for one of my darkest race moments and ask me about it later. It's blurry, which is exactly how I felt so it works out.
Not only did I finish that race with a desire to train harder for the next one. I left that race with a desire to live on purpose. To live in light of eternity.
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