God allows holy fellowship to happen in our everyday life, not just in church sanctuaries.
This concept has been so life-changing for me that I have a favorite Greek word that sums it up: κοινωνία. I know, I can’t actually read that either, but I know the transliteration into our language is “koinōnia.” It means “fellowship, association, community, communion, joint participation, intercourse; the share which one has in anything, participation; the right hand as a sign and pledge of fellowship (in fulfilling the apostolic office); a gift jointly contributed, a collection, a contribution, as exhibiting an embodiment and proof of fellowship.” It is most often translated as “fellowship” or “communion.”
Koinōnia is the word translated as “fellowship” in 2 Corinthians 13:14 describing the interaction of the Trinity. It’s also the word Luke uses to describe the fellowship of the first church in Acts 2, which he elaborates on in the next several verses: “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers, and awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved” (Acts 2:42–47). The gathering and communion of believers described there is a unique, intimate friendship we get to experience because of who God is and who He created us to be.
This koinōnia goes beyond shared affinity or casual acquaintance. This special, ongoing kind of friendship described in Acts requires devotion, reveals our shared beliefs, nourishes our souls, and changes us. I’ve experienced it in conversations between rounds of Nertz or Settlers of Catan, poolside with other moms while our kids entertain themselves, when I’m supposed to be working but the Spirit interrupts the task at hand. I’ve also had meaningful fellowship in the church hallways, at planned small-group gatherings, and while discussing a recent sermon. Believers doing life together, encouraging one another in their faith, and sharing each other’s burdens and joy is communion. This is the meaning of koinōnia, the kind of relationship God created us to enjoy.
John Eldredge writes about this kind of communion in his book Waking the Dead: “When the Scripture talks about church, it means community. The little fellowships of the heart that are outposts of the kingdom. A shared life. They worship together, eat together, pray for one another, go on quests together. They hang out together, in each other’s homes.” Communion happens when we gather in churches, but it also happens around a dinner table or on a porch swing.
The word communion can refer to “the Christian sacrament in which consecrated bread and wine are consumed as memorials of Christ’s death or as symbols for the realization of a spiritual union between Christ and communicant or as the body and blood of Christ” or to “an intimate fellowship or rapport.” These two meanings are actually connected. The sacrament is symbolic of the communion we have with Christ that also flows into our relationships with others. So we can take communion or be in communion with others, but both are about intimacy and commitment.
My church friends and I have a tradition that beautifully reflects this connection. Our church holds a monthly worship service on a Sunday evening set aside to take the sacrament of communion together as a body of believers. During the service, baptized believers each take a piece of bread and a tiny juice cup from the front of the sanctuary and bring the elements back to their seats. Then the pastor prays and instructs us to take in unison the bread that represents Jesus’ body. We do the same with the juice that reminds us of Jesus’ blood. We take communion as individuals and collectively as a church body. Afterward, many of my church friends go to Culver’s for dinner. We break bread together at church, and then we break more bread (rather, cheeseburgers and cheese curds) together. Both of these meals together matter. Among this group are friends who go to Sunday school classes, gather in small groups, sit on the sidelines cheering for our schools’ basketball teams, have playdates and parties, and eat other meals together. Through it all, real lives are shared, and holy friendships are formed.
Like the first-century church described in Acts, rich community happens among people who meet together regularly and share what God has given them. The sharing can come in lots of forms, including meals, money, supplies, space, resources, advice, and prayers. It can also be sharing hopes and heartbreaks, dreams and disappointments, and fears and forgiveness.
This kind of sharing requires vulnerability, which takes courage. As Eldredge writes, “Going to church with hundreds of other people to sit and hear a sermon doesn't ask much of you. It certainly will never expose you. That's why most folks prefer it. Because community will. It will reveal where you have yet to become holy, right at the very moment you are so keenly aware of how they have yet to become holy.” True, biblical friendship requires investment and leads to transformation. This is the challenge—and the gift—of koinōnia.
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This is an excerpt from Created for Communion: Discovering God’s Design for Biblical Friendship by Kristin Hill Taylor. Kristin believes in seeking God as the author of every story and loves swapping these stories with friends on her porch. She lives in Murray, Kentucky, with her husband and three kids. She has self-published two other books: Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family and Bringing Home More Than Groceries: Stories About Gathering & Nourishing People. Join her on her virtual porch at kristinhilltaylor.com.
A note from Aly: Kristin truly is a gift of a friend, so she is the perfect author on this topic of biblical friendship! You can order her new book "Created for Communion: Discovering God's Design for Biblical Friendship" here:
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